Back to School DON’Ts

1. Capacitor Barrette on Etsy
Eek! Ok, it’s definitely cool to wear capacitors as a decorative element, but only if they actually are decorative–not hideous like this poor excuse for embellishment.

2. Totoro Plush Hat
Unless you are under the age of 18 months you have no business pretending to a giant furry anime critter. Sorry “Furrys,” Sorry.

3. Fuze Necklace
The only things you’re going to attract wearing tacky light-up jewelry are clueless teenage candy ravers stuck in the mid-nineties and that’s going to be awkward, or the unwanted attentions of a lightning bug which could be awkward too.

4. GEEK Silicone Bracelet
Wearing a bracelet that literally says GEEK tells the world you’re trying too hard. And no one has ever looked good in silicone.

5. T-Qualizer Light Up Equalizer T-Shirt
This t-shirt has an electroluminescent panel on the front that reacts to music. Yet, the only thing that should be reacting to the music is yourself when you’re dancing, and besides, your obnoxious flashing chest isn’t going to make you friends any time soon.

6. Utilikilt
The idea behind this pathetic invention is that by freeing a man from his jeans and letting his anatomy sway around when he moves, and then giving him tons of pockets for his gadgets and gear he will achieve some sort of anti-establishment masculine nirvana. Instead, they only man’s jeans that will be removed are the DNA variety, as in from the genetic pool. Definitely a lady killer in the wrong sense.

7. Yoda Backpack
Alright, you’re a Star Wars fan, and these days that’s perfectly acceptable. Having delusions that you’re a character from a movie and running around in public with a plushie strapped to your back is not.

8. Crocs
Supposed comfort is never a viable reason for allowing your feet to be seen in public encased in perforated boat-shaped rubber monstrosities as these.

Back to School DOs

1. Teal Triple Capacitor Necklace
Here’s a better way to wear capacitors–three teal ones are strung delicately from a chain and look more like jewels than capacitors.

2. Caffiene Earrings
Let your nerdy nature shine from your head by dangling silver caffeine molecules from your ears in earring form. They’re scientific and terrific, not to mention classy.

3. Fan Guard Chain Necklace
This necklace doesn’t need to blink in an attempt to announce your geekiness to the world. Anyone who’s plugged in cables or PCI cards to the back of a desktop PC will recognize the modified fan guard around your neck and give you the silent nod of approval.

4. Cat5 Bracelet
You don’t need a bracelet that literally says GEEK, you need one that says geek to anyone who knows what ethernet cable is.

5. MIDI Cuff 1.5″
This cool black cuff made of MIDI cable is a subtle way to profess your love of electronic music.

6. High Voltage Laptop Bag
Instead of cramming everything into pockets, grab this laptop bag with a high voltage strap as a stylish solution.

7. Circuit Board Memo Pad
Keep your notes safe with a notepad with covers made from real circuitboard.